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“The Kind of Friendship One Can Imagine Between Angels”

January 3, 2009

The more I think about it, the more I believe friendship is equal parts selfish attraction and selfless love.

We have friends for so many reasons — companionship, amusement, dependency, caretaking, love, growth, beauty, importance, power, convenience and pure, lovely destiny. In my thoughts, I constantly vacillate back and forth — do we make friends in order to discover more people like us, to surround ourselves with what’s comfortable, or are we attracted to the people who need us the most, who balance us the most, who know the best ways to love us?

I’ve discovered the answer is simply both.

(For a good resource for this that is more informative than my brain, check out CS Lewis’ The Four Loves.)

I think much depends upon a person — if we all make friends for different reasons, then it goes logically that these friends will bring different things to each of us. I was fortunate enough to get to spend New Years with friends that I rarely get to see and once again, all the beauty that each one contains simply shattered me.

There is this continuous thread of quiet admiration between each of us — what we don’t have in common is seemingly greater than what we do, but it still holds us together. Some of us are writers, others fashion designers and still others are waitresses, teachers and techies. The everyday life of each is as varied as leaves on trees, but there is still that sameness in that we are all leaves. Our differences act more as a sort of glue, bringing us together in the places where we lack what others have — a multi-colored puzzle where we become stronger together than we ever could be apart. When it seems that so many people in the world today are dulled with mediocrity and apathy, these people sparkle, dazzle, dance and pop.

I love Sandra for the beauty of her mind and for loving me enough to always speak it. I love Noelle for her heart, which I will always believe is lovelier than she will ever realize. I love Marmee for being the most gracious and wise woman I have ever known. I love Barney for making every person feel at ease with who they are. I love Laura for her eternal innocence and purity of heart. I love Robert for still being that guy who would walk 20 minutes across campus just to give you a hug.

Loving someone exactly as they are, plain and simple, will shock you every time. I am continually amazed at the force wrought by love for its own sake, not the merit held by those we love. Perhaps it doesn’t always manifest itself in change or in victory, but there is always something to be said for truly unconditional love — loving because we want to, not because we have to. Jesus always knew this and when we really venture to understand this and live it, it will explode inside you and all the bitter, envious, selfish, impatient and hateful parts of you will die and die again. Where there is such light, darkness cannot remain.

Whoever you are, if you are reading this, know that I love you for exactly who you are.
(Everyone needs someone to believe in them.)

…………

“It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place, but for three years I had roses and apologized to no one. I shall die here. Every inch of me shall perish. Every inch, but one. An inch. It is small and it is fragile and it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must NEVER let them take it from us. I hope that whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the worlds turns, and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you.
With all my heart, I love you.”
V for Vendetta

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Noelle permalink
    January 3, 2009 6:14 pm

    Caroline you are so wonderful and I am so fucking lucky to both know and have you in my life to such an extent.

    I couldn’t ask for anything better. I want you to always remember the very large portion of my heart you have forever.

  2. Caroline permalink*
    January 4, 2009 11:28 am

    I love you too, kitten. đŸ™‚
    I am so glad we got to spend time together — you are lovely.

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