Answer Trumps Question
I spend so much time demanding so much of God. In ways, it feels like I give up on living sometimes, and just ask Him to do it all. I use my cluelessness on the matters of life as an excuse, but really, it’s not.
I’d just rather not make mistakes, or screw up, or be wrong.
So if I heave all of them onto God, then I don’t have to feel any of those things so directly, so personally. I can put it all down to “misinterpretation of divine will” or some such nonsense.
Just when I think I have it all figured out, God likes to laugh at my plans, and remind me that I will never have grand visions of all the things He has laid out. I just have to trust, move forward inch by inch, and someday, when the humanity drops as a blindfold from my eyes, I will finally see the big picture.
CS Lewis once wrote in A Grief Observed this: “Heaven will solve our problems, but not, I think, by showing us subtle reconciliations between all our apparently contradictory notions. The notions will all be knocked from under our feet. We shall see that there never was any problem.”
Jack, I think you’re right. God owes me no explanations and He never has.
I’m trying to get better at this trust thing. Because let’s face it, His answers are always so much better than my questions.