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A Thumbs Down to Bats and Three Cheers for Alsatian Pizza!

June 16, 2009

I am a little crazy sometimes.

Last week, a bat got into our house and I woke up at 4:45 am to a bat flying over my bed. I am proud to say that I did not scream (I squealed only) and promptly threw my covers over my head, where I contemplated hiding forever until it became so stuffy that I couldn’t breathe. I convinced myself it was a bird and that I could get it out later. I kept hearing rustling, squeaking noises and eventually went and woke my brother-in-law up and made him investigate. It turned out Mr. Bat was hiding on top of my Harry Potter books (oh irony!), but by the time Matt went to go escort him out, he was missing.

And we still haven’t found him.

And now, nearly a week later, every time I hear a noise or sound, I immediately think, “Is that the sound a bat might make?” Even though he’s been MIA for five days and probably found a way out (like the window I left open all day upon the morning of his appearance). Even though Matt tore my room apart and pronounced the bat most likely gone. I still freak out about it. In fact, I have woken up the past two consecutive nights at 2:30 in the morning, unable to sleep, feeling like the stupid thing was stalking me and laughing at how paranoid and ridiculous I am.

See…I’m a little crazy.

This is the third bat to get into our house, along with two squirrels. Our house is turning into the Worst Petting Zoo in the World. I am a city girl, I can’t handle this. I will attest to my independence about most things ’till the day I die, but in these matters (namely, those concerning wildlife in places it should not be), I am not independent. I am a squealing, cowering little girl who insists on a big, strapping man (or braver woman) to get rid of the creepy things lest I pee myself.

Onto something more cheerful.

I made Alsatian pizza the other night for the first time ever. It is traditionally pizza topped with creme fraiche, bacon, and caramelized onions, but I decided give it a little sassy twirl with fresh herbs and a few additional toppings. And may I say, it was probably some of the best pizza I’ve ever had.

So hence, here is the recipe for all you foodies.

Alsatian Pizza with an Extra Pep in its Step

  • 1 pizza crust (I used a delicious, premade nine grain crust that I bought from the farmer’s market, but use whatever you want)
  • 1 cup creme fraiche (I make my own by pulsing 1/2 cup ricotta in a food processor till smooth, then adding 1/2 cup sour cream, 1 tbsp. flour and 1 tbsp. olive oil and pulsing till smooth)
  • Several sprigs of fresh oregano, thyme, and a handful of basil leaves, chopped
  • A couple ounces of turkey (or pork) bacon, chopped
  • 1 medium Vidalia onion, thinly sliced
  • 12 baby portabella mushrooms, thickly sliced
  • 1/2 cup mozzerella cheese, shredded

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F or whatever your pizza crust calls for.

Make the creme fraiche in a food processor and scoop into a bowl. Chop all the fresh herbs and stir into the creme fraiche, and set aside. Saute the bacon till crisp, then remove to drain on a paper towel. Add a small pat of butter and a drizzle of olive oil to the drippings, and cook the onions on medium heat till caramelized and golden brown. Remove the onions and set aside. Add enough olive oil to coat the pan, and add the mushrooms, sauteing till mostly cooked through.

Place the pizza crust on a cookie sheet, and spread the crust with the creme fraiche (should be layered thickly, but not overly so). Pile on the bacon, onions, and mushrooms, then sprinkle on the shredded mozzerella. Bake for about 15 or 20 minutes, or until the cheese is melted and slightly browned.

Once removed from the oven, cool as long as you can wait, and proceed to cram a large slice into your waiting and happy mouth.


Okay, it’s almost 8pm and I came to my favorite coffee shop an hour ago with the aim of getting Real Work done. Probably should get to that now.

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