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my story is not over yet

April 6, 2010

Then Job answered the LORD : “I am unworthy—how can I reply to you? I put my hand over my mouth. I spoke once, but I have no answer— twice, but I will say no more.” -Job 40:3-5

I listened to the Whirlwind NOOMA while working today and was struck by its hoarse, naked honesty once again. (If you want to be a cheater like me and watch it on YouTube, you can.) The story of Job is familiar and lately, I feel I have been channeling him, albeit in a rather Charlie Brown-ish way. Perhaps the best term to describe my posture towards life as of late has been “whining.” “Grousing” might also be a good one…or “wretching.”

In any case, I have failed to see that death is always followed by life; there is a time for grief and a time to keep going. I have been closing my eyes to the new life that is welling up around me because it doesn’t make sense, it’s not ordered in the neat time-line that I requested. I don’t know what I want to do with my life and I keep demanding that God make an exception for me and show me the big picture because His way is stressing me out.

Well, I don’t want to do that anymore. The time of raging at the heavens has passed and the benediction Rob speaks at the end of this NOOMA brought conviction and hope that it is my time to be silent — my story is not over yet:

There are times where the only honest, healthy, human thing to possibly do is to shout your question and shake your first and rage against the heavens and demand an explanation. But true wisdom, the kind we find here with Job, the kind that endures, the kind that sustains a person through suffering, the kind of wisdom that knows when to speak and when to be silent.

Because your story is not over.

The last word has not been spoken.

And there may be way more going on here than any of us realize.

So may you be released from always having to understand why everything happens the way that it does. May this freedom open you up to all sorts of new perspectives and may you have the wisdom to know when to say, “I spoke once but now I will say no more.”

[Photo credit here]

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. Grandma permalink
    April 7, 2010 8:34 am

    “Be still and KNOW that I am God!” Through times of deep anguish, He hears us and speaks but His voice may be smaller than our rage. Then we finally ‘get it’ … He wants our full attention…and trust. Then things happen according to His plan. I know this is true and I know that you do, too. Love you forever. Grandma

  2. Caroline permalink*
    April 7, 2010 6:59 pm

    @ Grandma!

    “His voice may be smaller than our rage…”

    So, so true. So incredibly true.

    Love you LOTS and see you soon!

  3. April 10, 2010 11:57 pm

    Good words.

    This reminds me of a song by Nichole Nordeman called “Someday”

    i believe in the rest of the story
    i believe there’s still ink in the pen
    i have wasted my very last day
    trying to change what happened way back when

    http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/s/Someday/2pTXHr

    These words from Rob are needed for me now, too. Thanks for posting this.

  4. Caroline permalink*
    April 11, 2010 5:30 pm

    @ Victor!

    I will have to listen to that song, it sounds beautiful. Looking forward to seeing you at Leadership Circle and hearing how you are!

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